Rarely in life do things go the way you you want them to go. Especially in the pursuit of distance running. Like most things you wish to accomplish, it all starts with the basic concept of needs and wants. Most of the time, we want things, cars, houses, jewelry, or any objects to fill us with the idea that we are happy or complete. These needs are usually easily obtainable, with some hard work and money, you can make it seem like your life is fulfilled. The things we want in life, sometimes can't be as easily reached. Most of us are programmed to want what we don't have. Fame, fortune, expensive things drive us to work harder, or become depressed due to the fact these objects or feelings will never come to life for us.
With running, there are few limitations from keeping us from reaching what we want. Except ourselves of course. Our minds are the biggest instigator, motivator, and sometimes our worst enemy. But, with few distractions and the right mindset, there is absolutely no excuse for not reaching our full potential.
Accomplishing a goal is a direct correlation between the degree of witch you are willing to work, and how long you can convince yourself that the daily grind will result in something beautiful. Some runners may enjoy the simplest aspect of the sport. Going out and getting in a 30 minute jog, 4-5 times a week is enough to continue the balance of a happy life. Then you have the weekend warriors, trying to go after that Boston qualifier. To them, they find the act of simply doing the run, or race, is enough for a pat on the back, and hanging up the shoes for good.
For me, I'm never satisfied. Never have been, and probably never will be. I think I haven't come close to my potential on the roads or the track. The desire to better myself everyday drives me sometimes to extreme measures, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate what I've accomplished in the past. It's easy to get caught up in one side or another, but it's with balance that one is able to accomplish great things.
The drive for unfulfilled potential comes in waves that can easily vanish as quickly as it showed up. The older I get, the more these questions appear as to why I'm trying to run, what I wish to accomplish, or what this will get me in the long term sense of the sport. Sometimes these questions can get the best of me, and for a long time I was easy to answer without much care or passion.
After my half marathon in Dublin, I was riding a good wave of training, excited for the possibilities and new gained fitness; But quickly, I fell off that wave not caring for myself, or my fitness. Getting in a 30 minute run was miserable at times, and I only really enjoyed a quick dip in the trails, and be done with it. I quit working out, even though the marathon was arriving in 3 weeks, I just didn't seem to care.
It's easy to loose track of what's important in life. The chase for money, fame, or personal satisfaction can eat you alive. The drive to "make it" in society usually is a direct result in giving up a piece of yourself in the pursuit to the top. As runners, we accept that we might be poor, have few friends, much of a social life, or have a hard time explaining why we must press forward with everything we got. Sometimes living the lifestyle of a recluse is all we know. The sacrifice in of itself is one of the hardest things, and also one of the most important things you need to lay the path forward to achieving your dreams.
So, as most people would have guessed, the Columbus Marathon did not go the way I had imagined it would. Going into the race, I knew I didn't belong up at the top. I was no where close to the sub 2 hour 30 minute shape. All of the facts leading into the race pointed that I shouldn't of even ran it. But, I enjoyed a nice Sunday stroll for 10 miles of hard tempo running, and got to help people along the way. It was a short and inevitable death, but helped me quickly figure out that the balance of running and taking care of myself, while continuing to be an adult and work full-time was not happening.
For the past 21 days, I've been able to start getting back into a daily, healthy routine again. I have been living very much in tune with the present, and I couldn't be happier. Making running and training a priority again, finding the balance of working full-time at the hospital, and taking care of myself have become very important to me. This winter I want to become a secluded, well-balanced, strong distance runner. I intend to continue testing myself by giving up things irreverent to my success. The continued balance between what will help me achieve my dreams, and what will make me happy as a person.
I know what I want, and I know how to get it. Making the right decisions daily, and creating healthy habits will allow me to stay on the right track. I intend to mold myself into the best shape mentally, and physically that I have every been in, and it all starts with the decision to simply do it until it becomes a habit.
Here's to the enjoyment of the fall, and the beauty of a hard days work.
- BJW
