I often think about how I've lost the opportunity to fall in love at a young age. Being single at 27, my world is filled with social media marriage proposal videos and baby announcements, yet here I am about to enter another year of failed relationships still living with my college roommate. I feel like everyday I am slowly inching my way to the dreaded 30 year mark alone, but free. Free to do what I want, how I want, when I want. That freedom to live your own life is something only a select few of us mid-twenty year old bachelors can appreciate. Yet I still feel a void in my life. A hole that no matter how many good times, fun trips, or days to myself I have, there is something missing.
In the movie, Into The Wild Christopher McCandles wrote, "Happiness is only real when shared", in his journal right before he laid down in that magical bus to die in the middle of the Alaskan wild. Perhaps after so many adventures and time spent alone, Christopher finally realized that you cannot simply get by in life without loving someone and sharing ones happiness together.
Part of me immediately spits back what I just said, with an aggressive "Fuck you, watch me do it" mentality, but part of me feels for Christopher and the hardship he endured alone in the wild. Another quote that is completely opposite from what McCandles says is from one of my favorite movies Fight Club, "We're a generation of men raised by women. I'm wondering if another women is really the answer we need". This takes on a whole different approach to the subject. Again, I have two views on this, but there is something inside of me that feeds into what is being said. Everything I need to accomplish what I want in this world is inside of me, and I dare a women to try and take that away.
After a certain age your chances of meeting "the one" will decrease dramatically. In High School and College it was easy meeting people. Students all have the same interest and agenda as you, and are usually looking to get swept of their feet, which unfortunately is never like what the movies make it out to be. The small amount of young professionals that make it out of college single are ultimately screwed. The working class will slowly get taken over by the fake un-meaningful existence that is a career - The other half will find happiness in binge watching Netflix with their newly adopted kitten in their parents spare bedroom or cool downtown loft apartment.
Your only hope in this world is thinking some of us slipped through the cracks and there is still a chance of true love. Sure, you have the single moms, divorced parents looking to try over, or the rare gem of the opposite sex that is in the exact seat you are in, but chances are you are in for a long lonely life. In the meantime, try to find inner happiness. A silver lining, that will promote good character, and meaningful moments in your life. Usually real relationships will happen out of no where. Who knows, one day you might just bump into Mrs. perfect reading a Barns And Noble top seller at Starbucks, or not.
That fourth paragraph is particularly depressing and this entire post isn't exactly uplifting, so that should say something.
ReplyDeleteSeems you've been in relationships but they didn't work out maybe they started out as love and then it faded, that can happen. Everyone doesn't work at the same pace and social media is the absolute worst representation you can take from something. You're always the one that feels a little less happy, too single, everyone has kids, everyone's on one spectrum and you're on another. That's how it can feel, but that isn't how it is. Your post was angsty until the very end, and still, are you happy with being young wild and free, or do you want to switch course settle down?
I guess a bigger question is would this loneliness be as big of an issue if social media weren't a thing and your life continued on as it normal but you weren't as aware of hundreds of friends successful love lives and marriages and so on?