Solidarity and being alone are amenities one might find uncomfortable or hard to deal with, but for me these conditions are exactly what I need to create myself into the runner I most desperately needed. I have lived alone in a small one-bedroom home right outside the gorgeous Strouds Run State Park since May of this year, and it has brought such blissfulness and peace into my life.
I find that when put in a situation where you have no other option but to adapt to your surroundings, I become obsessed with the routine and free of all things that may have brought me down before. The ability and freedom to mold yourself into whomever you wish to become, and the realization that most of life's problems that are thrown at you is bull shit. It is a very rare opportunity to have, and I don't plan to waste it.
For me, I want to become a marathoner. I want to run under two hours and thirty minutes at the Columbus Marathon on October 15th, and I'll do anything to do so. I'm very new to the idea of racing more than 3 or 5 miles at a time, so being out there for 26.2 miles terrifies me. The only way I know how to not let that fear overcome me is out there on the roads. Focusing on The Task. Living by the clock, just like Quenton taught me to do. Trying to beat myself up, adapt, and become better than what I was yesterday. The cruel and rewarding lifestyle of the Trial of Miles. Within these realms of life, nothing can hurt you.
So here I am 74 days outside of making my marathon debut, wishing that the fitness and realization I have today would've arrived months ago; But, you deal with what you're dealt with. As I move forward I find that I'm at peace with where I am today, and excited for who I may become tomorrow.
Seems fitting to end with a passage from Rudyard Kipling's "If" heading into marathon season...
"If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew to nerve your turn after they are gone,
and so hold on when there is nothing in you except the will which says to them: 'Hold on!'"
- BJW
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