Normality

I’ve decided it would be best to scratch Kent State December 9^th, and take my time off. I had a lot of time (more then I’d like to admit) making decisions on this upcoming spring battle on that silly oval, and could go into great detail, but I’m afraid that we would be here all night. As of now, I have a couple races in February that I’d like to do well in, and not running at Kent will allow sufficient time to do so.

I’ve put together a particularly detailed plan on mileage, workouts, strength routines and what not, which will take over my life once again, for roughly twenty-four weeks until the 2012 NAIA outdoor T & F national championships.

I am certainly enjoying my time off from aerobic work, but that feeling is starting to re-build itself once again. It’s been only five days into my break, and the sensation of dropping everything and letting loose on the roads is tingling in my legs. In this short thirteen day break, I will spend living one might call, the average college quest. Staying out late, getting rowdy at the bars, and trying to put together a some what respectable academic semester. As December 12^th gets here I will once again live the life of one who balances on the edge of mental breakdown, and absolute clarity.

But, for now I must use my brain in other means, which involves paper and writing utensils. As for my goals and ambitions for this upcoming season, perhaps with the loneliness of a winter spent alone in Toledo will give me some time to type up what is in my head.

(Re-reading my favorite novel for the fifth time, I’ve come across one of the most well written literature that I truly love. Hope you enjoy it as much as I do)

“We can all be good boys and wear our letter sweaters around and get our little degrees and find some nice girl to settle, you know down, with… take up what a friend of ours calls the hearty challenges of lawn care… Or we can blaze! Become legends in our own time, strike fear in the heart of mediocre talent everywhere! We can scald dogs, put records out of reach! Make the stands gasp as we blow into an unearthly kick from the hundred yards out! We can become God’s own messengers delivering the dreaded scrolls! We can race dark Satan himself till he wheezes fiery cinders down the back straightaway! They’ll speak our names in hushed tones, ‘those guys are animals’ they’ll say! We can lay it on the line, bust a gut, show them a clean pair of heels. We can sprint the turn on a spring breeze and feel the winter leave our feet. We can, by God, let our demons loose and just wail on!”

Never Gonna Give You Up

As I was walking around on campus today it began raining steadily as it does often in Portsmouth, and I got hit with that cool leafy smell of fall. The small that triggers one thing Cross Country, and I felt as if I have to give up the sport for another six months. Like we broke up or something. The sport that has been the most pleasurably and the most hateful thing that consumed my every thought since June. I have to say goodbye to.

Well, I thought to myself, I don't wanna give up just yet. I am in the best shape of my career, and with a good bit left in the tank I've planed a couple of races in the upcoming weeks.

Before I sit and reflect on the season and Nationals I will give you a glimpse ahead of the upcoming weeks.

This Thanksgiving I will be running the East Side Turkey Trot in Oregon, Ohio along side my older brother Jeremy and Sister in-law Kara. I am the returning champ, and plan to bring home the stunning $100 gift card to Second Sole and frozen turkey.

Also, In exactly two weeks and five days from today I will be giving my best efforts in breaking the fifteen minute barrier in a five thousand meters indoor track race at Kent State University on December 9th. This is something I've wanted for many of years, and I feel with a couple weeks worth of hard fast interval sessions on the track I will be able to break it.

So, I guess this is the time I talk about that silly five mile race in Washington. Going into the race I had a great deal of pressure on myself to help lead the pack through two miles. This was the plan for Mid-South, and since it worked out well then and with the possibility of a national title in grasp we all thought this would be the right thing to do.

Race day comes, mid forty's little wind no rain. Gun goes, relax relax relax. Patience. We get in-golfed by two hundred runners. it's an extremely aggressive battle to move up. Pushed my way through people making sure I loose no one on my team. We have a pack of five. 1200 meters in I get pushed hard from behind and fell. Quickly, I got up as things still seem very very crowded. Came through the first mile in 5:09. Slow, yes but patience. Mid 130's going through 2k. The pushing around every turn has seem to settle down, but not by much.

Focused on keeping everyone together, I find myself looking back every twenty seconds. Going through two miles I looked at the clock as it read 10:24 and as I made my last quick glance back to see what was left of the pack I took off. The next three miles all I could think about is how much my team needs me, the last three miles all I did was pass people. Went from being 130th place to finishing in 77th. I crossed the line in 25:33 making it a "Seasons" best by 18 seconds. My last three miles were 15:09 which is 5:03 pace, six seconds faster then what my first mile was.

What if? That's the question every runner asks themselves after they finish a race. What if I would've known the race would've been so fast? What if I went out in a 10 flat? How many more people could I of passed? What more could I of done?

I feel like in the situation I was in by two miles I did absolutely the best I could have done. I passed 53 people in the last 6k. Last year I would of been 20th place with the time I ran.

I know I'm better then 77th in the NAIA. I ran for my team, I ran as a pack, I didn't run for myself. Could I of been All-American? Top 40? Possibly, but I can't sit and dwell on this. All I can do is learn from this race, keep positive and move on.

As The World Turns

"That is the sort of race which one really enjoys – to feel at one’s peak on the day when it is necessary, and to be able to produce the pace at the very finish. It gives a thrill which compensates for months of training and toiling. But it is the sort of race that one wants only about once a season."

- John Lovelock

Twelve days, three hours, and thirty one minutes from now I will be in Vancouver, Washington toeing the chalky white line with six of the most hard working, determined runners I know and love. Going after a National Championship title is something people dream about, and to be able to chase that dream with my team bleeds through my mind every minute of the day.

As Lovelock said above, "...to be able to produce the pace at the very finish. It gives a thrill which compensates for months of training and toiling..." I wrote this quote sometime in early June on my Cross Country schedule that stood right by my alarm clock. Every morning and night I glanced over and spent seconds or hours thinking about the time and place where this would come true. The time is closing upon us.  I sit here and think about the countless miles, interval sessions, and hard work I put myself through and I'm ready to be able to put those words into action on November 19th.

This past Saturday was the 2011 Mid-South Conference championships. It was an experience I will never forget. Knowing that this season has been up and down for me, I came into the race with a plan. First loop of the course (around 3600m), I went out very conservative helping my teammates pack it up. I couldn't help but smile as I looked back, probably every four hundred yards, and was greeted with six or more Shawnee runners following my every stride.

As I made my move going into the woods I started picking off some of the dead weight (people who went out too fast), and I found myself in fifth place going into mile three. I was very aggressive the third mile, leaving my teammates to battle each other and other runners who would drop back. Perhaps it was the length of the two miles ahead or the quickly approaching fatigue that would yet set in, but I ran complacent in fifth and lost much of that initial drive the last 3200. I held pace, but as the last kilometer approached, and a pain in the ass side stitch grew, teammate Adam Schroeder ran up and after a few words of encouragement passed me to finish fifth place, around five seconds ahead.

I ran a 26:21 for a sixth place finish, making that a second faster then 2010 Conference, a personal best for the new course, and two spots ahead of last year. Afterward I felt a feeling of pure happiness. Not only did my team score a very low 18 points beating Cumberlands College by 34 points, but I was able to help lead most of the team to low placing spots and low times. That feeling surpassed any personal ambitions I had, and for the first time of the season I am relieved that I have seemed to of found my daemons.

Once again, I find myself counting down the hours till the big dance. Every action, every nutrient that enters my body, and every mile has a deep purpose. The hay might indeed be in the barn, and the fire inside of me is ready to burn that shit up.

2011 Mid-South Conference Team Champions

Blowin' In The Wind

It's been a while... Nine months to be exact. A lot has happened in those nine months which I may or may not want to talk about. I figured I'd come back here and write some jumble down to help cope with some stressful times. Probably going to end up talking about my running, and try to compare it to life. I always end up doing such things on here, but it's nice to create something that you can look back on and try to understand what you went through.

Recently, I've came back to Blogger to re-read some of my older posts to help me get through these next seventeen days. This season has been anything but rewarding to me. Coming into camp, I feel I had the summer of my life. I felt that I took my base training to the next level, incorporated some dynamic drills, and increased my mileage greatly. Living in Miamisburg with my older brother Jeremy and sister in-law Kara made for a very comfortable environment to live and train for three months. Looking back now there would be a number of things I would of changed/added to my lifestyle, but I can't do anything about it now.

The season Has been up and down. Dayton Flyer 5k, had a bad illness which with the addition of an awful heat index made for a miserable race. Ran, I believe, ~45 seconds slower then 2010. Shook that off, ran solid at Iona running ten seconds faster and some twenty sports better then 2010. I thought, "Ok, with a couple workouts i'll be up there". Then, something changed. The drive I used to have last year seemed to have faded out. During the next month or so I seemed always on edge, ready to be negative about any un-healthy situation I was in. My training went downhill, and with that everything else seemed to follow suite. All-Ohio, SSU Invite, Aquanis I wasn't where I expected to be. This was going to be my year I thought.

"No more high school racing style, you will have a strong last 4k". I thought I was going to be the king of the course. I mean that's what got me through all those miles in the Dayton heat. Knowing I was coming into the season in the best aerobic shape out of anyone, yet I still can't cope with the stress when it matters. I thought I was doing everything right. When the team would go out after a meet or on weekends to drink, and live the typical college life, I would settle into the cabin and get ten hours of sleep. When I ate, I made sure I got enough fruits and vegetables. Stretched, ran my workouts smart, gave up any social life I could have. I mean what the fuck else do you have to do in order to be a successful collegiate athlete.

This frustrated me to no end, and kept me up at night. Knowing I was not only getting beat by a number of people on the team that I was easily beating last year, but my times in races and workouts were no where near 2010. I was pissed off, searching for answers in all the wrong places.

These past couple days or so I've really had time to reflect on my season, and after looking back on last year I've tried to pick out the positives so-far that I've got with me. One, last year at this time I could barley run two miles without tears in my eye. I had an inflamed sollesus bone (along shin) that would not seem to heal, legs were so burnt out from killing workouts with the big dogs, and an unfamiliar attitude about the right state of mind. Going into nationals last year I was scared and nervous. I was more fixated on enjoying the whole trip, and relying on the top guys to run the race for me I didn't realize what I'm here to do.

This year I've got many things going for me heading into Conference and Nationals. I've yet to really hit my stride in any race which means I've got a hell of a lot left in my tank that I plan to unleash when it counts. Second, not only am I not injured, my legs and body is at an all time calm and utter stand still ready to exert a tremendous amount of effort. Finally, After looking back on last years posts during this time, I've come to realize I'm missing the one ingredient I had. Confidence.

They say running is half mental, and its been a roller coaster ride for me this season. If I can just focus and set my mind on finishing out the season like I imagined when I was running waldruhe standard, or doing hill repeats up Linden hill. All of my life I've had a problem with staying consistent and this is the most important thing to me right now. My team has a good shot of bringing home a National Championship, and I'm willing to do anything and everything I can to help us succeed.

I'm fresh, Strong, Prepared, Experienced, and now I must find that racing edge.

Believe.

Don't Think Twice, It's Alright

It ain’t no use to sit and wonder why, babe
It don’t matter, anyhow
An’ it ain’t no use to sit and wonder why, babe
If you don’t know by now
When your rooster crows at the break of dawn
Look out your window and I’ll be gone
You’re the reason I’m trav’lin’ on
Don’t think twice, it’s all right

It ain’t no use in turnin’ on your light, babe
That light I never knowed
An’ it ain’t no use in turnin’ on your light, babe
I’m on the dark side of the road
Still I wish there was somethin’ you would do or say
To try and make me change my mind and stay
We never did too much talkin’ anyway
So don’t think twice, it’s all right

It ain’t no use in callin’ out my name, gal
Like you never did before
It ain’t no use in callin’ out my name, gal
I can’t hear you anymore
I’m a-thinkin’ and a-wond’rin’ all the way down the road
I once loved a woman, a child I’m told
I give her my heart but she wanted my soul
But don’t think twice, it’s all right

I’m walkin’ down that long, lonesome road, babe
Where I’m bound, I can’t tell
But goodbye’s too good a word, gal
So I’ll just say fare thee well
I ain’t sayin’ you treated me unkind
You could have done better but I don’t mind
You just kinda wasted my precious time
But don’t think twice, it’s all right

Taking Up The Family Business

During my younger years when I was running miles at St. Johns I always remember coming up to a bush, political yard sign, or anything for that matter, and would yell out “Steeple!” and hurdle the object. The Steeplechase has always been kind of the glamor event of track and field for me. I’ve always wanted to run it since watching Jeremy in college meets when I was a young adolescent. It had always intrigued me and for the first time ever, I’m going to give it a go.

This year has been a huge stepping-stone for Shawnee State running program. For the first time in school history we are officially a varsity track program. We are able to compete, and score at meets, including conference and All-Ohio. What this also means is that we are able to qualify, individually, for the NAIA Track & Field National Championships. As long as we hit either an “A” standard, or a “B”standard in a particular event we are qualified to go. In the 5000 meters the A standard is 14:45, and the B standard is 14:59. For the 3000 meter Steeplechase the A standard is 9:20, and the B standard is 9:29.

Originally going into the year I had hopes (and still do) for running sub 15, but the more I look into the steeple there is something inside of me that wants to go after it. Not having much of any hurdle practice, and no racing experience at all I have a lot of work to do. Recently, I’ve done some research and came across this Canadian named Dave Korell who wrote a good article with precise description of drills and training for the Steeplechase. Starting Wednesday I will be doing hurdle drills and steeple specific weight training two times a week.

My first opening steeple will be March 26 at Cedarville. I’d like to work up to breaking 9:30 hopefully as early in the season as possible, in hopes of qualifying for Nationals on May 26. Thirty-two days and starting from scratch… this should be fun.

-BJW

Just Say No

The argument between just war and just peace is one that has been going on since the history of mankind. It can be broken down by different examples. Rather it is the major wars in our history, or more simply everyday occurrences we encounter on a day to day basis. In these situations one may be forced to make quick, but painstaking decisions to basically defend, or attack. To attack, push forward with all your countries power, and proclaim war one might say, is the right thing to do. In the opposing side, it takes a lot of courage and dignity to say “No”. Peace has been something a lot of countries and citizens of those countries have been fighting countless hours and years for, and with that one quick decision to attack, so many people’s hopes and dreams can come crashing down in a second.

When September 11, 2011 happened it had a dramatic effect on our country. We were completely blindsided by Afghanistan’s al-Qaeda, whose leader Osama Bin Laden, lead a terrorist attack on the United States. Our country was forced to make a decision, and after we got back on our feet, seven days later Former US president Bush, signed the joint resolution and began sending troops over to invade Afghanistan. In my opinion, this “War” had some justification to it. As a strong united country, we cannot be attacked and do nothing about it. President Bush’s decision to attack Afghanistan was the right thing to do. It had a reasonable cause, and after a short two months the Taliban was forced to retreat.

This should have been the end of it. We sought after revenge and took down the rebel group that attacked our country. It was a means to an end, and in my opinion, after we established a peace that should have been it. In March of 2002, the United States shifted their focus on another rebel rousing country Iraq. The US was given notice of “Weapons of Mass Destruction”, and 12 months later President Bush issued troops to invade Iraq, in hopes of finding and dismantling these weapons. Another priority was to take down Saddam Hussein and his regime. A lot of people believe that the United State Government used this as an excuse to send over military in hopes of finding oil. Since oil is one of the major importing and exporting products in the world and is very sought after, we could take advantage of the invasion of Iraq and take as much oil as we could to help finically support or “War on Terror”.

As the years of fighting and invasions continue, the “Weapons of Mass Destruction” never came about. People were starting to ask questions and began questioning the Presidents motive. The “War on Terror” in Iraq started to go downhill, as the country kept digging itself into deeper and deeper debt, and had nothing to show for it. This invasion had somewhat of an obscure reason going into it, and it seemed to have no end in sight.

To date, there has been a total amount of 4,287 US Military causalities in Iraq. This long drawn out invasion has had little to show for it. In Afghanistan, we aimed to defend and reestablish peace, and to take down terrorist that attacked our country in 2001. It had a cause and had a means to an end. In Iraq, I believe our sights going into the war were set on taking down Saddam Hussein and his corrupt officials. As the war went on, our intensions shifted into something else entirely.

War can sometimes, in strict situations, be justified by having a strong outlook and it the long run, must be sought after reestablishing peace amongst other countries. War cannot be something we create and make the first decision to go into. War must be a last resort. As a country of high power, we must always seek to find peace between foreign and domestic countries. It is said best by an artist who died at a young age, “All we are saying is give Peace a chance”.

February 2nd, 2011

Growing up, I had the privilege to have three older brothers who I've learned a lot from. I learned how take some hits, how to enjoy my youth, but more importantly I got introduced to a lot of good music before I even knew what good music was. A band I grew up to appreciate was The White Stripes. I remember listening to a couple songs in particular Expecting and Seven Nation Army are a couple that stand out.


I guess you could say I started to get “obsessed” when I was a sophomore in high school. I learned every lyric and was always repeating the beat of a certain tone almost everyday. My youth was filled with Jack White guitar riffs and Meg’s rhythmic beating of the drums. Over the years I grew a deep appreciation of the band and when their last cd Icky Thump came out in 2007, when I was a senior, I told myself I had to see the White Stripes perform live. After a cancellation in the middle of their 2007 tour I was never given the chance. So, after Jack created these “side projects” I got my fix by watching the Raconteurs at Bonnaroo in 2008, and The Dead Weather in Columbus in 2009 and at Bonnaroo in 2010. Still, it was not the same. I’ve always hoped that Jack and Meg would get back together for a seventh cd and would make another run for it. Over the years, I was leaning back on this concept and believed this day would come…


Five days ago, my dreams came smashing down. It was announced that The White Stripes were no longer a band. They came out and said they are officially no longer going to be performing live or create any knew material. My heart sank. All my youth was filled with the beautiful melodies, from the Detroit hard guitar rock, to the soft but slick guitar licking Tennessee blues.


So what we are left with is 6 cds to get us through some hard days of life. We must not let this band die, just because they are done, does not mean they cannot live on. I plan on still listening to these two musicians for a long long time, and perhaps someday they will have a reunion… One can hope.


I believe Jack says it best,

 “The White Stripes do not belong to Meg and Jack anymore. The White Stripes belong with it whatever you want. The beauty of art and music is that it can last forever if people want it to. Thank you for sharing this experience. Your involvement will never be lost on us and we are truly grateful.”

Long Live The White Stripes
-BJW

physiology 101

Every mile, every interval, every step now has a deeper meaning and purpose behind it. That silly number just become that much more important...


man on man, am I really gonna do this?


"A true Runner ran even when he didn't feel like it, and raced when he was suppose to, without excuses and with nothing held back. He ran to win and would die in the process,running to him was real, the way he did it the realest thing he knew... hard as diamond,it made him weary beyond comprehension, but it also made him free."


- BJW

The Same Boy You've Always Known

(on our way to Marietta for the first Indoor meet of the year)

I've been adapting to my new surroundings, and settling into the busy and stressful college schedule, but I still feel this weight on my shoulders. Really when I think about it, everything in my life that gives me the most stress is money. I had a plan to quit my job at Starbucks and try to work some hours on campus. Well, it looks like now that I might not be able to do that.

I've applied and pursued a couple of jobs on campus now, and it seems like they're not interested. So, basically rather I like it or not, I'm stuck at Krogers until something else comes up. I've been praying that time comes soon. It don't mind working there, its just all of the fucking politics and shitty people at that store makes me sick. I can honestly say I've met the most disrespectful, rude people of my life there and it makes me hate every inch of that place. Like I was said, its seems like every problem that comes into my life is money related. So, I've been trying to look into ways to, not necessarily change the outside part of society, but instead change me. I probably have the worst financial education, and being brought up in a poor family, not being taught how to manage any of my problems, has caused these past couple years to be more stressful then I wanted.

I know all of this minimalist stuff can be really "gimmicky" and people tend to act like they're all about it, turn around, and pretend they're better then people. Well, I don't wanna be like that at all. I have been reading a lot about what your "needs", and your "wants" are, and I really wanna make a conscience effort to be more self sufficient and also take time to enjoy the smaller things.

Well that's enough of the debbie downer talk... In times where I can be stressed about something it seems like I can always fall back into my running, and as of lately that part of my life has been going great! We have such a good group of guys on the team. Having class all day can be a drag, but when 4 o'clock comes I know I can always fall back and have a good time with the team.

"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself"

 -BJW 

Subb 15 & New Years Eve

Fifteen minutes to run 3.1069 miles, 5000 kilometers, 1609.344 meters. However you look at it, running under fifteen minutes for the 5k is one of my biggest running goals. It would take three 4:50 miles and a sub 30 second 200 meters.

This is my goal for the 2011 Track season.

So what will I do to achieve this?

I am willing to give up everything and anything to reach my goals in running. I have given up pretty much any social life I might have had, I am in the process of moving out to Reece Brown's house in Lucasville (20 miles from campus) later this week. I also am going to quit my job at Starbucks in late January to focus only on my running and school. I have had a part time job since I was sixteen years old. For once, I want to not worry about making it on time to work, or having money take over every decision I make. I am ecstatic to think that in a months time my life will be so simple, so relaxed, but yet so productive and enjoyable.

I did not move down here to just make ends meet, work 16-20 hours a week and try to balance my school, running and work. I came down here to get a college degree and good education. To run on a great cross country program. To enjoy every moment I can in the short time I will be here. The past two years have been extremely busy trying to juggle all of this thing, and have not been very enjoyable outside of of my running.

I feel that being in this environment and having the opportunity to do this, I will excel. I am very excited and cannot wait...

This past weekend was new years eve and I could not have enjoyed it any more. Jeremy, Kara, Reece and I drove up to Chicago to enjoy some musical performances, and have as much fun as we could in 2 nights. Friday night (new years eve) was spent hanging out in the hotel room, heading to Timothy O'Toole's Pub for dinner and then taking a cab to Logan Square Auditorium to enjoy one of the most energetic, fun filled 30 peice pep band I've ever seen.  It was filled with old and young faces who really enjoyed playing music. They were called Mucca Pazza and words cannot explain how much fun we had. Definitely a great way to bring in the new year.

If this wasn't enough, the following night was spent at the famous Aragon Ballroom to watch one of my all time favorite bands, The Black Keys! One of the best combination of Drums and Guitar work I've ever seen live before. Such talent and true rock I had a smile on my face for the whole show.

Until next time, I will leave you with a quote...
   "He looks the whole world in the face for he owes not any man"
                                       - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow