Never Gonna Give You Up

As I was walking around on campus today it began raining steadily as it does often in Portsmouth, and I got hit with that cool leafy smell of fall. The small that triggers one thing Cross Country, and I felt as if I have to give up the sport for another six months. Like we broke up or something. The sport that has been the most pleasurably and the most hateful thing that consumed my every thought since June. I have to say goodbye to.

Well, I thought to myself, I don't wanna give up just yet. I am in the best shape of my career, and with a good bit left in the tank I've planed a couple of races in the upcoming weeks.

Before I sit and reflect on the season and Nationals I will give you a glimpse ahead of the upcoming weeks.

This Thanksgiving I will be running the East Side Turkey Trot in Oregon, Ohio along side my older brother Jeremy and Sister in-law Kara. I am the returning champ, and plan to bring home the stunning $100 gift card to Second Sole and frozen turkey.

Also, In exactly two weeks and five days from today I will be giving my best efforts in breaking the fifteen minute barrier in a five thousand meters indoor track race at Kent State University on December 9th. This is something I've wanted for many of years, and I feel with a couple weeks worth of hard fast interval sessions on the track I will be able to break it.

So, I guess this is the time I talk about that silly five mile race in Washington. Going into the race I had a great deal of pressure on myself to help lead the pack through two miles. This was the plan for Mid-South, and since it worked out well then and with the possibility of a national title in grasp we all thought this would be the right thing to do.

Race day comes, mid forty's little wind no rain. Gun goes, relax relax relax. Patience. We get in-golfed by two hundred runners. it's an extremely aggressive battle to move up. Pushed my way through people making sure I loose no one on my team. We have a pack of five. 1200 meters in I get pushed hard from behind and fell. Quickly, I got up as things still seem very very crowded. Came through the first mile in 5:09. Slow, yes but patience. Mid 130's going through 2k. The pushing around every turn has seem to settle down, but not by much.

Focused on keeping everyone together, I find myself looking back every twenty seconds. Going through two miles I looked at the clock as it read 10:24 and as I made my last quick glance back to see what was left of the pack I took off. The next three miles all I could think about is how much my team needs me, the last three miles all I did was pass people. Went from being 130th place to finishing in 77th. I crossed the line in 25:33 making it a "Seasons" best by 18 seconds. My last three miles were 15:09 which is 5:03 pace, six seconds faster then what my first mile was.

What if? That's the question every runner asks themselves after they finish a race. What if I would've known the race would've been so fast? What if I went out in a 10 flat? How many more people could I of passed? What more could I of done?

I feel like in the situation I was in by two miles I did absolutely the best I could have done. I passed 53 people in the last 6k. Last year I would of been 20th place with the time I ran.

I know I'm better then 77th in the NAIA. I ran for my team, I ran as a pack, I didn't run for myself. Could I of been All-American? Top 40? Possibly, but I can't sit and dwell on this. All I can do is learn from this race, keep positive and move on.

As The World Turns

"That is the sort of race which one really enjoys – to feel at one’s peak on the day when it is necessary, and to be able to produce the pace at the very finish. It gives a thrill which compensates for months of training and toiling. But it is the sort of race that one wants only about once a season."

- John Lovelock

Twelve days, three hours, and thirty one minutes from now I will be in Vancouver, Washington toeing the chalky white line with six of the most hard working, determined runners I know and love. Going after a National Championship title is something people dream about, and to be able to chase that dream with my team bleeds through my mind every minute of the day.

As Lovelock said above, "...to be able to produce the pace at the very finish. It gives a thrill which compensates for months of training and toiling..." I wrote this quote sometime in early June on my Cross Country schedule that stood right by my alarm clock. Every morning and night I glanced over and spent seconds or hours thinking about the time and place where this would come true. The time is closing upon us.  I sit here and think about the countless miles, interval sessions, and hard work I put myself through and I'm ready to be able to put those words into action on November 19th.

This past Saturday was the 2011 Mid-South Conference championships. It was an experience I will never forget. Knowing that this season has been up and down for me, I came into the race with a plan. First loop of the course (around 3600m), I went out very conservative helping my teammates pack it up. I couldn't help but smile as I looked back, probably every four hundred yards, and was greeted with six or more Shawnee runners following my every stride.

As I made my move going into the woods I started picking off some of the dead weight (people who went out too fast), and I found myself in fifth place going into mile three. I was very aggressive the third mile, leaving my teammates to battle each other and other runners who would drop back. Perhaps it was the length of the two miles ahead or the quickly approaching fatigue that would yet set in, but I ran complacent in fifth and lost much of that initial drive the last 3200. I held pace, but as the last kilometer approached, and a pain in the ass side stitch grew, teammate Adam Schroeder ran up and after a few words of encouragement passed me to finish fifth place, around five seconds ahead.

I ran a 26:21 for a sixth place finish, making that a second faster then 2010 Conference, a personal best for the new course, and two spots ahead of last year. Afterward I felt a feeling of pure happiness. Not only did my team score a very low 18 points beating Cumberlands College by 34 points, but I was able to help lead most of the team to low placing spots and low times. That feeling surpassed any personal ambitions I had, and for the first time of the season I am relieved that I have seemed to of found my daemons.

Once again, I find myself counting down the hours till the big dance. Every action, every nutrient that enters my body, and every mile has a deep purpose. The hay might indeed be in the barn, and the fire inside of me is ready to burn that shit up.

2011 Mid-South Conference Team Champions

Blowin' In The Wind

It's been a while... Nine months to be exact. A lot has happened in those nine months which I may or may not want to talk about. I figured I'd come back here and write some jumble down to help cope with some stressful times. Probably going to end up talking about my running, and try to compare it to life. I always end up doing such things on here, but it's nice to create something that you can look back on and try to understand what you went through.

Recently, I've came back to Blogger to re-read some of my older posts to help me get through these next seventeen days. This season has been anything but rewarding to me. Coming into camp, I feel I had the summer of my life. I felt that I took my base training to the next level, incorporated some dynamic drills, and increased my mileage greatly. Living in Miamisburg with my older brother Jeremy and sister in-law Kara made for a very comfortable environment to live and train for three months. Looking back now there would be a number of things I would of changed/added to my lifestyle, but I can't do anything about it now.

The season Has been up and down. Dayton Flyer 5k, had a bad illness which with the addition of an awful heat index made for a miserable race. Ran, I believe, ~45 seconds slower then 2010. Shook that off, ran solid at Iona running ten seconds faster and some twenty sports better then 2010. I thought, "Ok, with a couple workouts i'll be up there". Then, something changed. The drive I used to have last year seemed to have faded out. During the next month or so I seemed always on edge, ready to be negative about any un-healthy situation I was in. My training went downhill, and with that everything else seemed to follow suite. All-Ohio, SSU Invite, Aquanis I wasn't where I expected to be. This was going to be my year I thought.

"No more high school racing style, you will have a strong last 4k". I thought I was going to be the king of the course. I mean that's what got me through all those miles in the Dayton heat. Knowing I was coming into the season in the best aerobic shape out of anyone, yet I still can't cope with the stress when it matters. I thought I was doing everything right. When the team would go out after a meet or on weekends to drink, and live the typical college life, I would settle into the cabin and get ten hours of sleep. When I ate, I made sure I got enough fruits and vegetables. Stretched, ran my workouts smart, gave up any social life I could have. I mean what the fuck else do you have to do in order to be a successful collegiate athlete.

This frustrated me to no end, and kept me up at night. Knowing I was not only getting beat by a number of people on the team that I was easily beating last year, but my times in races and workouts were no where near 2010. I was pissed off, searching for answers in all the wrong places.

These past couple days or so I've really had time to reflect on my season, and after looking back on last year I've tried to pick out the positives so-far that I've got with me. One, last year at this time I could barley run two miles without tears in my eye. I had an inflamed sollesus bone (along shin) that would not seem to heal, legs were so burnt out from killing workouts with the big dogs, and an unfamiliar attitude about the right state of mind. Going into nationals last year I was scared and nervous. I was more fixated on enjoying the whole trip, and relying on the top guys to run the race for me I didn't realize what I'm here to do.

This year I've got many things going for me heading into Conference and Nationals. I've yet to really hit my stride in any race which means I've got a hell of a lot left in my tank that I plan to unleash when it counts. Second, not only am I not injured, my legs and body is at an all time calm and utter stand still ready to exert a tremendous amount of effort. Finally, After looking back on last years posts during this time, I've come to realize I'm missing the one ingredient I had. Confidence.

They say running is half mental, and its been a roller coaster ride for me this season. If I can just focus and set my mind on finishing out the season like I imagined when I was running waldruhe standard, or doing hill repeats up Linden hill. All of my life I've had a problem with staying consistent and this is the most important thing to me right now. My team has a good shot of bringing home a National Championship, and I'm willing to do anything and everything I can to help us succeed.

I'm fresh, Strong, Prepared, Experienced, and now I must find that racing edge.

Believe.